Sarah vs the Halo
by rachel-rage
Summary: Inspiration comes in the form of Beyonce. Mostly Chuck and Sarah fluff from Sarah's point of view, inspired by Beyonce's "Halo".


_Okay, generally I'm not a huge fan of song fan fics, (except brickroad16's series, Collide, which I think is fantastic), but this song screamed for a Sarah moment. It's Beyonce's Halo. These aren't really part of a story, but they're all individual interpretations of how Sarah feels. I tried to follow the lyrics pretty closely. ( I didn't do stories for every single chorus/bridge)._

_Don't own Chuck, unfortunately._

**Remember those walls I built  
Well, baby they're tumbling down  
And they didn't even put up a fight  
They didn't even make up a sound  
**

He always knew just what to say to her. She'd put up her defenses, she'd try to block the feelings that she couldn't control. She wouldn't let him see. And then he'd say something offhand, something so intrinsically Chuck, and she'd completely fall apart. And she'd find herself being more than just his handler and at times, more than just his friend. And she didn't even mind. She felt herself losing control, and let it go willingly. Happily, she let him open her up.

**I found a way to let you in  
But I never really had a doubt  
Standing in the light of your halo  
I got my angel now**

Chuck was everything she wasn't. Her sins had left scars on her, leaving marks on her skin as well as on her heart. She had done unspeakable things, things that made her sick to remember them. But he stood in sharp contrast to everything she was. Chuck was filled with light, light that shone through his eyes when he looked at her with warmth. She felt sick when she knew that that light would be extinguished forever if she ever shared her past with him. But his light had brightened her dark world, and she didn't want to go back to being blind.

**It's like I've been awakened  
Every rule I had you breakin'  
It's the risk that I'm takin'  
I ain't never gonna shut you out**

Before Chuck, Sarah was barely a person. She was a machine. She thought she could know love and true feelings, but they had just been a shadow of what she felt now. And even though it went against every rule she'd ever made for herself, or any rule she'd ever been given to follow, she was risking it all for just a little more happiness. She hated to risk him like that, but she took risks with him every day. Every time she held his hand for just a minute too long, or took a long glance at him under her lashes, she risked falling deeper in love with him. Every time she worried about his safety over the mission's, she risked being sent away. And every time she had to push him away to keep them together, she risked his fragile heart.

**Everywhere I'm looking now  
I'm surrounded by your embrace  
Baby I can see your halo  
You know you're my saving grace**

It was Chuck's arms that she loved the most (outside his innate charm, his lovable self deprecation, his concern for everyone but himself…she could go on). At first glance, Chuck was skinny. He was a thin guy. But if you took the moment to really look at him- and boy, had she looked- he had broad shoulders and when his arms were wrapped around her, she felt like nothing could touch her. It was like being in a bubble, but warm and soft, and his breath was warm on her cheek. She lived for Chuck Bartowski hugs. Sometimes, the prospect of his arms around her was the only thing keeping her sane.

**You're everything I need and more  
It's written all over your face  
Baby I can feel your halo  
Pray it won't fade away**

What hurt the most sometimes was how open Chuck was about…everything. And not even his words. His face was an extension of his soul. Anything he felt, anything he was thinking, was so easily read from the warmth or chill of his eyes, if he was nervously licking his lips or if he was smiling the patented Chuck Bartowski smile, that was a little crooked but so adorable. She needed that openness, because she was closed off.

**I can feel your halo halo halo  
I can see your halo halo halo  
I can feel your halo halo halo  
I can see your halo halo halo**

Hit me like a ray of sun  
Burning through my darkest night  
You're the only one that I want  
Think I'm addicted to your light

Waking up in Chuck's bed never failed to be awkward. But Sarah loved it, she would do it every day for her whole life if she could. She and Chuck would fall asleep in the darkest hours of the night. He, thoughtfully, shut off all his devices with LEDs when she slept over, so it was pitch black in the room when they fell asleep. And they always fell asleep at opposite ends of the bed. They wouldn't be anywhere near each other. And then they would wake up, the sun burning into their eyes and warming their faces, and they'd be entangled in each other. Sarah always unconsciously moved to him, as if his body had a magnetic pull on her. And she wouldn't tear herself away for anything.

**  
I swore I'd never fall again  
But this don't even feel like falling  
Gravity can't forget  
To pull me back to the ground again**

After the shadow of love that had been Bryce, Sarah had closed herself off. It was like a hole had ripped open in her chest that threatened to engulf her if she did anything but work. So Sarah was surprised when, after a few months with Chuck, that hole was filled. It was filled with successful missions, with nights of fun and movies with Ellie and Devon, it was filled with laughter at the antics of Morgan and Anna and the rest of the crew. It was even filled with amused loathing of Scooter and a feeling almost like fondness for Casey. But what mostly filled the hole in her chest was Chuck, and his unfailing ability to give her exactly what she needed.

**(the rest of the song repeats the bridge and chorus)**

_Okay, hope you liked my first ever song fan fic. These are actually easier to write than stories for me, because songs don't just stop in the middle, like my stories tend to. Which reminds me- Sorry about Chuck vs. the Choice. It kind of stalled and at this point I'll need some major inspiration to finish it. Hope you liked this though. Review? :D_


End file.
